When I got married 8 years ago, I had this delusional idea floating in my mind. I thought that any of the unhappiness I had in my life would magically wash away and that I’d ride into the sunset and live happily ever after. I thought that the excitement of the wedding would carry over and that life would be a fairy tale. Unicorns, butterflies, and constant smiles. How many of ya’ll know that being happily wed and having a perfectly curated wedding have absolutely nothing to do with being happily married? Holla if you hear me !

After the wedding excitement became a memory rather than a reality, real life poured over us. While I had a devoted and kind husband, a stable and secure life, and love that surrounded me, I was unhappy. I didn’t know why. I just was…

What I’ve come to realize over the years is that the unhappiness I felt in my marriage was displaced and that I was putting the onus on my husband to make me happy and to make my life ‘feel fulfilled’.  What a task. What a burden he must have felt…

The responsibility wasn’t his. It’s not a partner’s responsibility to “make you happy”. Yes, the added joy a partner brings to your life is something to look forward to and truly treasure, but it’s an individual’s personal responsibility to find their joy. 

When I’ve had the opportunity to speak to young couples that are entering marriage, the greatest advice that I’ve been able to offer is to not base your identity off of that relationship. It’s important to have hobbies, projects, and a soul stirring purpose outside of your marriage–and to fiercly chase it !

I’m happy to say that I’m in a happy and fulfilled season in my life. Not because my marriage is great (although I’d say it’s pretty “happy” most days”) but because I’m seeking and putting my mind to work in ways that bring me joy. I’m putting time into personal projects that make my heart sing.

I’m a creative person–blogging, creating content, and finding an outlet through influencing have brought me so much joy. Being a wife and mom are an added bonus-not all that I am or strive to be. That’s not to say that those roles aren’t at the top of my list of importance, but they’re not my only roles.

It’s ya girl Brianna B and I’m a creative motherhustler…